Just a stay-at-home mum!

The Hidden Strength of a Full-Time Mom

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to be a full-time mother, a housewife, or whatever term we use in today’s world. It’s a role that is often judged, often misunderstood, and sometimes even undermined. People seem to have an opinion on everything we do. But here’s the truth: it’s daunting. The physical and emotional energy it takes is overwhelming, and yet it’s often invisible to the outside world.

When I gave birth to my second child in Thailand, I was thrown into a whirlwind of challenges I couldn’t have prepared for. But this writing is for you—those of you who, like me, are in the trenches as a full-time mum or housewife. This is my story, my experience, and my perspective. I want to underline that. It’s not a reflection of anyone else’s journey. Just mine.

The Question: "What Do You Do?"

Here’s a question I absolutely hate: “What do you do?” It’s a simple enough question, but when it’s directed at me, my mind immediately races to an answer I don’t want to say. “I’m a stay-at-home mum,” is what I think. But I never say it out loud. Instead, I say, “I work with my husband, we have a family business.” And while that's not a lie—I do work with him on every project—it doesn’t fully capture the truth of what my days really look like.

But why should I feel embarrassed about being a mother and wife? Why do I feel uncomfortable telling people that I devote myself to the family I love most in this world? Isn’t that what truly matters? Isn’t that enough?

Honestly, my family is my passion, my heart, my sweat, my fight-or-die. I would do anything in my power to protect them. But when it comes to answering that question, why does it still feel like I have to justify myself?

The Pressure of Social Media

Let’s talk about social media. Oh, the things we love and hate about it. It’s so easy to scroll through endless feeds of picture-perfect families, beautiful trips, and lavish lifestyles. You can’t help but compare your life to theirs. I know I do—all the time.

Trust me, don’t trade your peace for anyone else’s opinions.

Social media makes us feel like we need to have it all—beautiful homes, perfect families, endless success. And you know what? It’s exhausting. It’s not just the expectation that we put on ourselves, but the expectation from everyone else around us. Some of those people don’t even care about us, yet we feel this deep, unshakable pressure to prove something.

I’m ashamed to admit it, but sometimes I feel like I’m failing. Failing because I can’t balance the ideal career with being the perfect mother and wife. It’s like trying to juggle too many balls, and one is bound to fall. If I excel in one area, it often feels like something else is falling apart.

But it took me over 10 years to realise something incredibly important: I shouldn’t care about what others think. The pressure, the comparisons—it’s all a distraction from the truth of who I am and what I truly want.

My Confidence

There was a time when I felt completely lost. After becoming a mother, I lost my confidence, my self-esteem, and my sense of control. My body, my appearance, my sense of freedom—everything seemed to slip away. For a while, I thought I’d made a huge mistake. The first three years of motherhood, including pregnancy, were the hardest years of my life. Financial stress, living situations, external pressures—all of these things made me question everything. How did my husband and I get through that time? By sticking together, through thick and thin.

We were tested in ways we never expected. And in that storm, we found grace. Even when I didn’t believe in God, I felt something guiding us, showing us the way through the hardest moments.

Your Identity

So, when someone asks me, “What do you do?” My answer is simple: I’m a stay-at-home mum. That’s who I am, and I love it. I don’t feel the need to explain anything else. Sure, I have professional skills, and if you know me from that side of my life, you’d see it. But I’ve had enough of justifying myself. It’s not about having the perfect house or a lavish lifestyle; t’s about creating a home that’s filled with love and warmth. That’s my job—and I’m proud of it. I’ve learned that I don’t need anyone’s approval. If someone doesn’t want to continue the conversation because of my answer, that’s okay.

A Message to Other Stay-at-Home Mums

And if you’re reading this and you’re a stay-at-home mum, here’s my message to you: You are blessed. You are blessed to have a partner who supports you in doing the work that matters most—building your family. Don’t take a single moment with your child for granted. They grow so fast. And no one, no one, can devalue you unless you allow them to.

Being a stay-at-home mum is my work. This is my calling, my contribution. While I was busy searching for a professional title and trying to be visible in this world, my husband is the one who often reminds me that we have what we have today—and we’re able to live the life we do—because of my contribution. It’s teamwork. You are shaping the future by creating a home where your family feels safe, loved, and supported. Stand firm in this role. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s not important or that it’s any less valuable than others. It’s the most important job you’ll ever have. You are the foundation, the shelter, the heart of your family.

You don’t have to sacrifice your identity or give up everything you love. You have the time to pursue your dreams, improve yourself, and work towards your ideal career. Remember, your child is growing and becoming more independent each day. Life is short—make the most of it and enjoy the journey!

Your house doesn’t have to be huge, flawless, or straight out of a magazine—it just needs to be full of love. That’s what makes it a home.

Trust me, don’t trade your peace for anyone else’s opinions.

May God bless you and your family.